Not all who wander are lost. ---JRR Tolkien
Wow, I guess it's been awhile since I've posted. I probably shouldn't even be posting right now, considering the workload I've induced upon myself in my infinite efforts of procrastination. Why do I procrastinate? Because I'm distracted easily.
Lately I just can't let go of the fact that I don't know where I'm student teaching yet. The options I was provided with to preference are all fabulous, so I'm just excited about it all. I'm genetically wired to not let things go with ease (seriously, if you haven't spent quality time with me and my siblings, you should, and you will understand what I mean by this). I just let things bother me for extended periods of time. For the last year and more intensively in the last six months, it has been increasingly difficult to let go of the uncertainty of it all. I find out in less than a week (Friday at 3:30 pm, if you're interested) and it is just getting worse. The distraction and anticipation, I mean.
I've been distracted with my messy apartment and the laundry monster that is growing steadily in my closet. I've been distracted with my frustration that my to-do list never seems to be fully completed and the finances of my life never seem to go away. I've been distracted with my worries that some of my practicum kids don't have warm coats or heating inside their homes as the weather starts to get nasty. The jury duty commissioner won't leave me alone-and that too is very distracting, especially because I would prefer NOT to spend my winter break on jury duty.
At the same time, I'm so focused. I'm ready to finish school, with 5 papers and a portfolio left to go, I have 3 weeks. Last semester I pulled two all-nighters, making myself stay awake for three days. I will do everything in my power to prevent a repeat of this because I was too wired and emotionally unstable to pull off my final presentation. I'm focused on crossing things off my to-do list. I'm focused on my long and short term goals, in the classroom and out.
I'm wandering, but I'm definitely not lost.